The Slightly Disgruntled Scientist

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Sure Signs…

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…of Your Impending Darwin Awards Nomination

  1. You use the phrase, “I’m a man — I can handle it.”
  2. A circuit diagram of the surrounding electrical system would include you in several branches and one or two nodes.
  3. Your occupational health and safety officer asks you to wait for her to get her camera.
  4. You find yourself marvelling at the remarkable turn of speed and athletic ability displayed by the animal handler, who just sprinted away and leapt a razor-wire fence in a single bound.
  5. You are holding a container of anything prefixed with ‘nitro-’ and you are not a demonstrator in a chemistry lab.
  6. The head of the physics department at the local university asks you to wait for him to get his camera.
  7. You notice that your blue singlet and leather sandals are clashing with the flourescent yellow protective suits that everyone else around you seem to be wearing.
  8. You are about to drink from any container that required power tools or a strong magnetic field to open.
  9. The word “expendable” is creeping ever closer in your mind to the word “genitals.”
  10. Your local priest asks you to wait for him to get his camera.

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